Why a Budget Couldn’t Save Me (and What Finally Did)

From Rock Bottom to Money Bliss

I Thought I Was Bad With Money

But looking back now, I see the truth.

I wasn’t bad with money. I was a mum of five—one of them still a newborn facing a difficult situation. The income that once supported our family was gone overnight and the bills kept coming.

But the part that broke me wasn’t just the bills. It was the moments in between. The invisible, everyday moments that most people don’t see.

It was constantly having to say no to my kids—while pretending I wasn’t breaking inside. It was rugging them up in extra layers and blankets in the middle of winter because I couldn’t afford wood for the fire—and the split system heater wasn't working. And I couldn’t afford to fix it. So I layered them up, pretended it was an adventure, while inside I felt like I was failing them.

The Full Weight Was on Me

It became painfully clear early on in the separation that there would be no extra support. Not financially and eventually Not in parenting. The full weight? Was on me.

Suddenly, I’d look at these five little faces staring back at me—waiting for me to pick up the pieces, to hold it all together, to keep life going like nothing had changed. And all I could think was: How the f*ck am I going to do this?

I didn’t have a job. I’d just had a baby. Waiting lists for childcare were months long if not over a year.

No one talks about that moment. When you realise you’re it. There’s no back-up. No one’s coming. It’s just you. And them. And you have to figure it out—even when you feel like you’re breaking inside.

The pressure I carried to keep them in their schools—to keep paying the school fees, to keep them playing the sports they loved—felt suffocating. Because I didn’t want to be the one to take away the only stability they had left in a time when everything else had fallen apart.

Every week, standing in the supermarket, triple-checking my bank balance before reaching the register, calculating every cent that went into the trolley, praying my card wouldn’t decline, hoping the boys weren’t in a growth spurt that week and I could make the food stretch just one more day.

That was my rock bottom. Not a single moment. But the many heavy moments that stacked on top of me until I couldn’t breathe.

The weight of financial stress is one of the most suffocating pressures I have ever carried. Anxiety every time the phone would ring—was it the electricity company wanting to be paid? The panic that would hit sitting down to write out a budget and seeing every dollar dwindle to nothing in an instant.

It was these moments that would swirl through my head late at night, the boys finally asleep, the house too quiet, and I’d think to myself:

If I don’t figure this out…
I’m f*cked.
This is only going to get harder as they get older.
I can’t keep living like this.
I have to figure it out.

But Not Even a Financial Windfall Could Save Me

When the dragged-out separation process, the mediation, the selling of the family home was finally over, I thought everything would change. After months of waiting, the settlement landed in my account—$168,000.

It felt like all my prayers had been answered. Finally, a fresh start. Finally, breathing room. ahhh the relief

And for a while it was, I let myself believe it would fix everything. I told myself this was it—the moment we turned everything around.

But less than twelve months later… it was gone. Every cent.

And I wasn’t just back where I started—In many ways I was worse off. Rent had gone up. Child support had been cut in half. The cost of living had skyrocketed. And there I was… five boys to raise, now three of them teenagers, staring at an empty bank account, no stable income, no safety net, no clue how I was going to get through the next month.

I remember sitting in my car that day, staring at my empty bank account, and thinking:
If $168,000 didn’t change things…
if all the budgets, all the books, all the advice weren’t enough…
then what the hell was going to get me out of this mess?

That was the moment the truth hit me harder than anything before.

I got the money... but the patterns still followed me.

And if $168,000 wasn’t enough to change things… what was?

Because it was never just about the money. It was about how I was showing up for money—or more truthfully, how I wasn’t. I was still avoiding it. Still fearing it. Still feeling unworthy of it.

And it didn’t matter how much landed in my account. The same old patterns, beliefs, and wounds were still running the show.

The Shift That Changed Everything

That was my line in the sand. I knew if I didn’t figure this out, things weren’t just going to stay hard—they were going to get harder. And fast.

So I started to go deeper. I wanted to understand why this kept happening. I started reading about the psychology of money, about the emotional side of money, about how money is energy—how it reflects our stories, our beliefs, our wounds. How we as humans are creatures of habit.

And as I started putting those pieces together, as I started healing, things began to shift. I stopped ignoring money. I stopped fearing it. I stopped pushing it away. And little by little, I started treating it with care, with respect, with attention.

I began spending differently—not to numb, not to fill a void, not from guilt or proving something… but with intention. I started asking myself: What really matters to me? What kind of life am I trying to create? Does this spending move me toward that?

And from that place, Everything started to change. Not overnight. Not perfectly. But steadily. Powerfully.

Money Is a Relationship (Not Just a Budget)

Because here’s the truth I wish more women knew: money is a relationship. A relationship where we work with money—not against it. A relationship where we treat it like a partner, a resource, a tool we can use intentionally to build the life we want.

But it’s more than that. It’s also about opening ourselves up to receive. It’s about clearing the blocks. Healing the wounds. Letting go of the old stories that told us we weren’t enough, or that money wasn’t for us, or that we couldn’t be trusted with it.

Because when we heal our relationship with money, when we release the shame, when we forgive the past, when we open up to receive… we open the flow. We make space for abundance.

Why I Created Money Bliss Co.

That’s why I created Money Bliss Co. Because that little promise I made to myself—sitting in my car, after yet another declined transaction, dodging calls from utility companies—was this: I will find a way out of this. And when I do, I will help others along the way.

I don’t tell you what to cut. I don’t tell you where to sacrifice. I don’t tell you what you’re doing wrong.

I give you the tools to build a better relationship with money. A relationship that’s safe, respectful & aligned. A relationship where you spend with intention, align your money with your values, and create a life you’re excited to live—not just one you’re trying to survive

Your Next Step: The 10-Day Financial Reset

Because here’s what I know: when you show up for your money, money starts showing up for you. And I know… that first step can feel scary. Or overwhelming. Or maybe you don’t even know where to start.

That’s exactly why I created the 10-Day Financial Reset.

It’s a Free simple, no-fluff, step-by-step experience designed to help you pause, reconnect, and reset the way you show up for your money—starting right where you are, with what you have.

Over 10 days, I’ll walk you through small, powerful shifts that will help you stop ignoring your money, rebuild trust with it, and start creating a system that feels safe, supportive, and designed for the life you want.

This is where I started. And it’s where I invite you to begin, too.

You can join the waitlist for 10-Day Financial Reset HERE

Because you are worthy. You are capable. And this is your first step toward a whole new relationship with money.